When I first shared the idea for Pixie with my husband, it looked very different. It was essentially an upside down manic pixie dream girl story, with the same calculation on Pixie’s part, but a love story nonetheless. I told him I wanted to sell the script.
As I began writing, I changed my mind. I made a playlist for the film and went back to my husband. “No, I want to make this. But I am not acting in this one. Maybe just a small part or something.”
Then, as I continued writing, I shaped Pixie into a role that, you guessed it, I was dying to play. Yes, I changed my mind again and I intend to play the role.
I spent the better part of last year (becoming a mom and) dreaming about this project. I had a couple of other writing projects I wanted to finish before I started working on Pixie, but it didn’t stop me from continuously jotting down notes, and making a song playlist, and pinning images on pinterest that reminded me of the film I had in my head. I fell in love with the story because I started writing it!
So, eventually I did start writing, and writing, and writing. Then I got stuck, and then I wrote some more. And then I didn’t want to finish it. I was paralyzed that it wouldn’t be truly finished, and maybe it would never be finished, so I took a break from it. I wrote a play in December, and a short web series after that. Then, I returned.
By the end of the year, I’m going to film this movie. I don’t know how yet. I’m not an expert (I’ll repeat that a lot), and I didn’t even go to film school. But I will learn how to make my movie, and I want to share that journey along the way, to help anyone else out there who is passionate about their project but maybe doesn’t know what they’re doing yet, or how to get started.
I think there’s a lot of privacy in creative industries, and I don’t totally understand. I get fear of copycats, and legal issues, and competition. But what I believe is that there’s room at the top for anyone who is willing to do the work. I’ll see you up there.